Sister Ann Barbara DeSiano, IHM

“I cared. I learned. I loved”

Born Patricia Frances, Sister Ann Barbara DeSiano is the oldest of four children (arriving just minutes before her twin brother, Frank!) Her parents, Frank and Angelena, attended the Church of St. Paul the Apostle (served by the Paulists). Her brother, Joseph, lived until 72. He developed liver disease but was blessed to have his life extended because of a liver transplant. Barbara is Ann’s youngest sister. When Patricia DeSiano was struggling to find an acceptable religious name, adding “Barbara” to “Ann” was approved!

Amazingly, the only co-ed high school choice in NYC was the IHM school, Immaculata! Ann Barbara has fond memories of Sister Sheila Reilly and (her 3B household member) Sister Marionette Coll. But, Sister Andre Davoren, her home economics teacher, must have been very special or Ann Barbara very brave! The home ec. lab had mice! Each morning she got to the lab early and disposed of the mice herself

In 1968, Sister Ann Barbara began the first of her three assignments as an high school English teacher at St. Alphonsus High School back in her home town. Consider the dates! Assassinations! Protests! Vietnam! That may be why her next assignment was in the safe city of Scranton at Bishop Hannan High School! Her final assignment as an English Teacher at St. Mary’s in Manhasset impacted her life choices dramatically.

The combination of a large (33) loving community, the school, gifted students and staff resulted in Ann Barbara hearing a call to “go deeper.” She needed to do something more spiritual and she had lived with a pastoral associate.

In 1982, Ann Barbara moved to South Ozone Park in Queens to St. Clement Pope Church as a pastoral associate. St. Clement’s was a small, poor, African American church and 1982 was also the beginning of the AIDS epidemic. Ann Barbara’s assignment included teaching CCD, a teen club, and prayer groups. South Ozone was not a safe area – she was held up at gun point!

St. Bartholomew Parish in Elmhurst, NY, was a big parish and the pastor was well educated. So, when a mother came to the convent with her two children because she was escaping a safe house where a staff member was abusing her, that wasn’t news the pastor needed to know!

Hills was hers. Living there twenty-three years gave Ann Barbara time to use many of her creative gifts: preaching, children’s liturgies, puppet ministry, summer (theme-based) in-house camps and, her favorite – grief counseling (having had her own experience with the death of her brother.) At the time of 9/11 she was in China helping a friend with an adoption. Three weeks later, she was on one of the first flights home – memories that will never fade.

Before coming to OLP, Ann Barbara served as the administrator of Our Lady of Grace Retreat Center and Montessori School.

In 2024, Ann Barbara came to OLP to recover from hip surgery. She was not intending to stay. A fall led to the discovery that her diabetes had now become kidney disease. I’m sure she thinks often of her brother, Joe. This time has made her aware of what a gift it is to have a place like OLP – a place of peace. And, luckily for all of us, her twin, now Father Frank DeSiano, C.S.P., became a Paulist retreat master and author and he comes to visit, say Mass and gives wonderful retreats!

“Teach me to care and not to care. Teach me to sit still” -T.S. Elliot